As the new school year begins, many children and teenagers experience a mix of excitement and anxiety. From a child’s perspective, there is a lot to worry about. Fitting in and making friends is often a top concern, but there are also worries about new teachers, whether they will understand the schoolwork, as well as the challenges of new routines and environments. If your child is feeling nervous about the transition, you're not alone. As a parent, there are many ways you can provide support and reassurance to help ease their worries. Here are some practical, psychologist-recommended tips to help your child or teen settle into the new school year with confidence.

1. Acknowledge Their Feelings

It's important to validate your child's feelings by acknowledging their anxiety without dismissing it. You can help them feel heard and supported by saying, "I understand that starting a new school year can feel overwhelming." Let them express their concerns and encourage ongoing and open conversations. Remind your child that they have successfully faced new experiences before and that they do have the skills to handle challenges and that you will be there to support them if they need it.

2. Establish a Routine

A consistent routine can provide a sense of stability and predictability. Put a plan together for the often-stressful morning routine, outlining the things that need to happen. Encourage forward planning by using visual tools like whiteboards and checklists to make sure they have what they need for the day and have fulfilled the necessary tasks before leaving the house. Setting specific times for homework, chores, play and relaxation after school can also help children feel more in control and calm. Where possible, help them to pack their bag and have their uniform ready the night before. For those just starting school, practice them tying up their shoelaces, zipping up their jumper, and opening and closing their lunchbox and drink bottle.

3. Trial Public Transport, if relevant

Familiarity can help reduce anxiety. If your child is attending a new school or catching public transport for the first time, it is valuable to do a trial transport run with a parent or guardian on the same bus or train or following along closely behind. This is something that can be done ahead of time and therefore makes the first day a little less intimidating.

4. Practice Social Skills

For children who have communication challenges or feel anxious about making friends, role-playing social interactions can boost their confidence. Encourage them to practice simple greetings, asking questions, and joining group activities to help ease social worries. Working through some basic scenarios and scripts can be helpful to frontload your child and give them valuable preparation ahead of time.

5. Encourage Positive Thinking

Help your child reframe negative thoughts by focusing on the positives. Instead of "I'm going to fail," encourage thoughts like, "I'm going to do my best, and that's enough." Teaching positive self-talk can help build resilience. Also encourage a growth mindset and praise them for the effort that they put in, not just the end result. Reframing thoughts such as from “I don’t know” to “I’m still learning about this” can help take the pressure off. Provide feedback for the effort they are putting in, particularly for homework – such as “I can see you’re working really hard with that maths problem” and “I bet you feel proud about how hard you’re trying.” At the end of their first week (and at the end of each day), talk to them about the good things that happened, as well as the challenges or concerns that they have. Try to encourage a sense of balance in the way they look at their environment and their performance within it. You can also model this by talking about things that went well and not so well in your day – children imitate what they see and hear.

6. Check In Regularly and Understand School Resources

Keep communication open with your child and also with their school. Most schools have designated staff and resources to help. Get to know your school’s structure and who is best to talk with if you have concerns. Term 1 is an emotional time for a lot of children, and regular check-ins can help you monitor your child’s emotions and ask for support at school, if needed.

7. Model Calm and Confident Behaviour

Children are highly perceptive and tend to mirror their parents' emotions and behaviours, especially in stressful situations. When you remain calm, composed, and confident about school-related matters, it sets a positive example for your child. Demonstrate healthy problem-solving strategies by talking through challenges in a constructive way, maintaining a positive outlook, and showing resilience when faced with difficulties.

8. Teach Relaxation Techniques

Helping your child develop coping strategies for managing stress can empower them to navigate challenging situations with greater ease. Educate them about relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness practices. You could even introduce them to a Mindfulness App. Visualisation techniques, such as imagining a peaceful place or focusing on positive affirmations, can also provide comfort during moments of anxiety in the school environment.

9. Ensure You All Have Enough Downtime

Just like at the end of a long day we like to have a bit of relaxation, the same is true for our children. If you can, go via the park on the way home or play in the backyard so that they can burn off some energy and get some “green therapy” by being outside in nature. Oftentimes our kids will have held it together all day, and then when they get home, they are exhausted, and you might see an increase in tantrums. Having some downtime, playing, and spending time outside, if possible, rather than just on screens, will help with this. Ensuring they have adequate downtime before getting into their homework and reading is essential. Additionally, make sure your child is getting enough sleep – they need more sleep than us, and having enough sleep means that their brain will be ready to learn again the next day.

10. Seek Professional Support if Needed

If your child's anxiety persists or significantly impacts their daily life and willingness to attend school, seeking support from a mental health professional can provide additional strategies and reassurance.

Remember, each child is unique, and adjusting to a new school year takes time. With your support and understanding, your child can develop the confidence and coping skills they need to thrive.